Day 3

How do I feel about myself?  Well, I feel like this is a complicated question to answer as there are many different ways I feel about myself at different times in different situations.  Oh, and depending on my mood.  That's a big one.  If I am in a negative mood, I often feel low about myself.  I hate my body, my face, my hair, my nails, my skin, my personality...the list goes on.  If I am in a positive mood, I am better able to see myself in a better light.  I feel more secure in my skin.  Unfortunately, my mood changes quite often.  I'm not sure what came first, either.  My low self-esteem or my mood issues.  I'm also not quite sure where all of this came from.  Of course we can blame our parents or family for whatever issues we deal with today, but that doesn't quite do it for me.  Just saying "It's my mother's fault" doesn't make me suddenly better.  A healthy sense of self and healthy life will give me many things.  But most of all, it will give me the present.  Without having a healthy sense of self, I am currently living either in the past or the future.  "Life was better when...."  "I can do this when I lose weight."  Right now as things are in this moment, things are always better in the past or they will be in the future.  I am never in the moment right now.  I am never here.  Always stuck in my head.  Well, I'm ready to live in the present... so, let's go.