Are you with the right mate?
thank you, psychology today for enlightening me.
yes, i am with the right mate. sometimes. and sometimes, not. but it doesn't matter. i'm not always the right mate, either.
and that's okay. love is hard work. and hard work is what we are willing to do...
Thursday, March 8, 2012
The Dance
"The question is not why are you so infrequently the people you really want to be. The question is why do you so infrequently want to be the people you really are." She pauses. "Because you have no faith that who you are is enough." Her voice is soft, full of sadness. "But it is. Your true nature as human beings is compassionate, and this essential nature makes you capable of being intimately and fully present. Who you really are is enough."
...that we are right now in this moment capable of being compassionate and fully present in intimate relationship with ourselves, the world, and the Mystery; that we are all we need to be by our nature; that there is no need for self-improvement; that we live our deepest soul's desires not by intending to change who we are but by intending to be who we are. And clearly our intention-to change or to be who we are-profoundly shapes how we live, what we believe we must do to learn, whether we feel we must ceaselessly push ourselves to reach higher or simply find the courage and confidence to allow who we are to unfold....
[The] former aims to reshape our essentially flawed nature with heroic efforts of endless trying.
Despite the fact that endless trying isn't working, it's what I know. It's hard to believe that I can be enough as I am. I want to be more-more compassionate, more present, more conscious and aware, more loved and loving, more intimate with myself and the world. I want to know how to be different-better-than I am.
...that we are right now in this moment capable of being compassionate and fully present in intimate relationship with ourselves, the world, and the Mystery; that we are all we need to be by our nature; that there is no need for self-improvement; that we live our deepest soul's desires not by intending to change who we are but by intending to be who we are. And clearly our intention-to change or to be who we are-profoundly shapes how we live, what we believe we must do to learn, whether we feel we must ceaselessly push ourselves to reach higher or simply find the courage and confidence to allow who we are to unfold....
[The] former aims to reshape our essentially flawed nature with heroic efforts of endless trying.
Despite the fact that endless trying isn't working, it's what I know. It's hard to believe that I can be enough as I am. I want to be more-more compassionate, more present, more conscious and aware, more loved and loving, more intimate with myself and the world. I want to know how to be different-better-than I am.
Oriah
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Day 12
Realize That Your Dissatisfaction Is Not About Your Body
"Consider that your dissatisfaction is not about your body. When you accept that thought, what comes to mind? What is your dissatisfaction really about? What is it trying to tell you? What part of your life could you address to foster more overall contentment?"
Hmm.. This is a difficult question to answer. For approximately 20 something years of my life I convinced myself that my dissatisfaction IS about my body. If my body was better, then my life would be better. I would feel better. I have been struggling the past week and a half with really bad anxiety. I'm unsure of what that anxiety is really about and I have been trying to pinpoint my triggers. Part of my anxiety COULD be a physiological chemical imbalance of sorts.. but is it really?? There is only one time in my life that I was close to being satisfied with my body. In that time, I was fairly obsessed with monitoring my food and exercising like a maniac. What if my dissatisfaction is not about my body.. but more generally just about myself. I am dissatisfied with who I am. I don't feel like I am the person I wish I was. There are a few things I could address in my life to foster more contentment with who I am... First of all, I could be more creative and spend my free time engaging in hobbies instead of sitting on the computer or in front of the television. Second of all, I could be more active and exercise more, but more specifically I would love to do yoga and meditate daily. Thirdly, I could be more active in helping out around the apartment; cooking, cleaning, doing things for my fiance. Fourthly, I could go out more and be more social. And most of all, I could be less uptight and not take everything in life so seriously. I have explained this to my therapist in the past... I would like to be more like a "hippie chick" in terms of their mindset. Right now I feel more like an uptight, debbie downer, control freak. That is my true dissatisfaction. But then I wonder if that is truly just how I am... that is my personality.. and I should accept myself this way. In thinking about what I am dissatisfied with, I am trying to think of what I am satisfied with. Right in this moment, I am kind of in a negative mindset and I cannot really think of anything. Think positive...........
...Well, I am satisfied with... wow, why is this so difficult??? I will have to think more about this and come back later. I cannot leave today's post on such a negative tone...
I am satisfied with my cat. She is perfectly adorable. That will have to do for now....
Okay, I thought of another thing. I am satisfied with my insight and my motivation to continue working on myself.
"Consider that your dissatisfaction is not about your body. When you accept that thought, what comes to mind? What is your dissatisfaction really about? What is it trying to tell you? What part of your life could you address to foster more overall contentment?"
Hmm.. This is a difficult question to answer. For approximately 20 something years of my life I convinced myself that my dissatisfaction IS about my body. If my body was better, then my life would be better. I would feel better. I have been struggling the past week and a half with really bad anxiety. I'm unsure of what that anxiety is really about and I have been trying to pinpoint my triggers. Part of my anxiety COULD be a physiological chemical imbalance of sorts.. but is it really?? There is only one time in my life that I was close to being satisfied with my body. In that time, I was fairly obsessed with monitoring my food and exercising like a maniac. What if my dissatisfaction is not about my body.. but more generally just about myself. I am dissatisfied with who I am. I don't feel like I am the person I wish I was. There are a few things I could address in my life to foster more contentment with who I am... First of all, I could be more creative and spend my free time engaging in hobbies instead of sitting on the computer or in front of the television. Second of all, I could be more active and exercise more, but more specifically I would love to do yoga and meditate daily. Thirdly, I could be more active in helping out around the apartment; cooking, cleaning, doing things for my fiance. Fourthly, I could go out more and be more social. And most of all, I could be less uptight and not take everything in life so seriously. I have explained this to my therapist in the past... I would like to be more like a "hippie chick" in terms of their mindset. Right now I feel more like an uptight, debbie downer, control freak. That is my true dissatisfaction. But then I wonder if that is truly just how I am... that is my personality.. and I should accept myself this way. In thinking about what I am dissatisfied with, I am trying to think of what I am satisfied with. Right in this moment, I am kind of in a negative mindset and I cannot really think of anything. Think positive...........
...Well, I am satisfied with... wow, why is this so difficult??? I will have to think more about this and come back later. I cannot leave today's post on such a negative tone...
I am satisfied with my cat. She is perfectly adorable. That will have to do for now....
Okay, I thought of another thing. I am satisfied with my insight and my motivation to continue working on myself.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Day 11
Just as an aside.. last night I was backing up my iPhone on my computer and stumbled across old photos of myself and my fiance. As I began looking back over the past 5 years, I noticed myself focusing in on my body over those years and I began comparing myself now to back then. There is something that I always end up doing and thinking... and that is that I always think I looked better in the past. My hair was nicer, my skin was nicer, I had better style, I was thinner, more fit, had more energy, etc. And thus begins the cycle of comparing and feeling bad about myself in the present. Why do I do this? I have heard that people who are trying to recover from body image issues, eating disorders, or what not, are told to delete old pictures of themselves to avoid this. But, these old pictures are my memories of my fiance and I. I will admit there are A LOT of photos of just myself, but I just can't let go and delete them. I'm not sure why I save them knowing that looking at them will result in nothing but negative thoughts. So, after I forced myself to stop looking at these photos, I noticed my mood had dropped significantly. I'm not ready yet to delete these photos, but for now I know to avoid looking at them. They will sit in a folder on my computer labeled "Do Not Open." This brings me back to the idea of comparing. Why do we compare ourselves to others and our past self? Does it bring any good? Sometimes I think it will motivate me to work out again every day like I used to, but instead it makes me feel worse about myself and less motivated to work out.... Has anyone else struggled with this? If so, what do you do to challenge the negative thoughts?
"So much of our dissatisfaction about our bodies, I believe, stems from our assumption that we ARE our bodies. But we are not our bodies. Our bodies are simply vehicles that take us through life, that allow us to experience this world, and each was chosen, through genetics, for our particular journey. Our bodies are not who we are. We all know that what we are is a compilation of our heart, our soul, and our mind. Our bodies carry our truth around, they are the lenses through which we experience the world, but they are not us. Our true selves are rooted within our bodies" (Molinary, 2010, p. 13).
The above quote is a powerful yet difficult concept to truly embrace. For my entire life I have always felt that what my body looked like defined who I was to myself and to others. If my body was thin, fit, and strong then that meant that I was strong, in control, and capable of dealing with life better. If my body wasn't as thin or fit that meant that I wasn't in control of my life or strong enough to deal with what life had in store for me. Today, in this moment, I am not as thin as I have been in the past, I am certainly not fit or in shape, but I feel more capable of coping with life's hardships and all of my stressors more so than in the past. I'm not going to lie; I still believe, in the back of my mind, that if I was thinner or in shape I could be a better person somehow. And I still contemplate with the idea of trying to lose weight. But I do not feel this inner turmoil or inner struggle that if I don't lose 20 pounds right now and go to the gym every day, I will not be a successful person. As I grow and evolve as a person, I find that my heart, mind, and soul are more important to me than what my body looks like. And since my body is the vehicle for these things, I need to treat my body with respect and compassion.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Day 10
What do you appreciate most about yourself?
I really appreciate my insight, intelligence, my empathy, sense of humor, and righteous anger. I feel these qualities are what make me a good person... a person who can make change both within myself and with others. I feel for others deeply but I am able to maintain a sense of humor about life that keeps me from getting overly emotional and burnt out. I mostly appreciate my righteous anger. Many people will find it strange that I appreciate anger, but I feel that without my getting angry with certain things, I would not be so driven to make a change or a difference. For example, when I see certain commercials or advertisements in magazines that portray women in a certain light that promotes self-objectification, I become angry. This anger enables me to work towards, first, challenging these unhealthy and unrealistic expectations and images for myself... and second, attempting to help others do the same. As my therapist has encouraged me in the past... "Get angry." So, if you happen to see something in the media that promotes an unrealistic, unhealthy, and sexist view of women's bodies... get angry about it and challenge it. Together, maybe we can make a difference.
What are you most confident about?
I am most confident about my ability to overcome any hardships/challenges in my life that I've had to deal with. I'm also most confident about my ability to always strive to be the best person I can and to constantly work on evolving for the better.
What is the first positive memory you have for yourself?
Wow, this is difficult. For those of you who know me, know that I have a horrible memory unless it comes to memorizing material for tests in school. Hmm... I guess the first positive memory I have for myself that I can remember is when I auditioned for a solo in the school play in 3rd grade and I did not get the original solo. But, my chorus teacher liked my voice so much that she wrote in a solo just for me to sing. I didn't tell my parents about it because I wanted to surprise them, and I remember feeling so confident on stage and excited to talk to them afterwards about it. I think this was my first solo I had ever sang in public that I had to audition for. Of course, my parents were very happy for me and proud of me.
What is your first positive memory you have for yourself? Was anyone there to witness that moment? If so, who was there and how did s/he or they react? How did it make you feel?
I really appreciate my insight, intelligence, my empathy, sense of humor, and righteous anger. I feel these qualities are what make me a good person... a person who can make change both within myself and with others. I feel for others deeply but I am able to maintain a sense of humor about life that keeps me from getting overly emotional and burnt out. I mostly appreciate my righteous anger. Many people will find it strange that I appreciate anger, but I feel that without my getting angry with certain things, I would not be so driven to make a change or a difference. For example, when I see certain commercials or advertisements in magazines that portray women in a certain light that promotes self-objectification, I become angry. This anger enables me to work towards, first, challenging these unhealthy and unrealistic expectations and images for myself... and second, attempting to help others do the same. As my therapist has encouraged me in the past... "Get angry." So, if you happen to see something in the media that promotes an unrealistic, unhealthy, and sexist view of women's bodies... get angry about it and challenge it. Together, maybe we can make a difference.
What are you most confident about?
I am most confident about my ability to overcome any hardships/challenges in my life that I've had to deal with. I'm also most confident about my ability to always strive to be the best person I can and to constantly work on evolving for the better.
What is the first positive memory you have for yourself?
Wow, this is difficult. For those of you who know me, know that I have a horrible memory unless it comes to memorizing material for tests in school. Hmm... I guess the first positive memory I have for myself that I can remember is when I auditioned for a solo in the school play in 3rd grade and I did not get the original solo. But, my chorus teacher liked my voice so much that she wrote in a solo just for me to sing. I didn't tell my parents about it because I wanted to surprise them, and I remember feeling so confident on stage and excited to talk to them afterwards about it. I think this was my first solo I had ever sang in public that I had to audition for. Of course, my parents were very happy for me and proud of me.
What is your first positive memory you have for yourself? Was anyone there to witness that moment? If so, who was there and how did s/he or they react? How did it make you feel?
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Day 9
"What is it you are saying to yourself? Why do you say it? What are your emotions when you say it?"
I often say to myself "I'm fat." I feel that I say it because:
a) I feel I am out of shape and slightly overweight
b) It's a habit
c) I have perfectionistic tendencies and if I don't meet up to Hollywood standards of beauty I must be fat
d) It's a way of relating to other people at times
e) I feel if I don't say it, someone else will think I'm not aware of my "fatness" problem. I'd rather be the one to say it then have others think I'm clueless about myself.
I'm sure there's more reasons why I say it, but that's all I can think of at the moment. My emotions when I say "I'm fat" are usually negative ones. Sometimes I just say it out of the blue (habitually) and I may even be in a good mood at the moment.
At this point in time, I am unhappy because I feel I am not as healthy as I could be. I would like to feel stronger and healthier and have more energy. That is one motivation for wanting to exercise and eat healthier foods. But on the other hand, in the back of my mind, I still have my inner critic/perfectionism impacting some of my decisions or making me feel guilty for some decisions. As you can see, simply saying one little phrase, "I'm fat," can have complex meanings and implications. I feel it's important to analyze the things we say to ourselves and examine what they really mean.
I often say to myself "I'm fat." I feel that I say it because:
a) I feel I am out of shape and slightly overweight
b) It's a habit
c) I have perfectionistic tendencies and if I don't meet up to Hollywood standards of beauty I must be fat
d) It's a way of relating to other people at times
e) I feel if I don't say it, someone else will think I'm not aware of my "fatness" problem. I'd rather be the one to say it then have others think I'm clueless about myself.
I'm sure there's more reasons why I say it, but that's all I can think of at the moment. My emotions when I say "I'm fat" are usually negative ones. Sometimes I just say it out of the blue (habitually) and I may even be in a good mood at the moment.
At this point in time, I am unhappy because I feel I am not as healthy as I could be. I would like to feel stronger and healthier and have more energy. That is one motivation for wanting to exercise and eat healthier foods. But on the other hand, in the back of my mind, I still have my inner critic/perfectionism impacting some of my decisions or making me feel guilty for some decisions. As you can see, simply saying one little phrase, "I'm fat," can have complex meanings and implications. I feel it's important to analyze the things we say to ourselves and examine what they really mean.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Day 8
How much money do you think you could save if you put money in a jar every time you engaged in self-loathing or your inner critic?
Give it a try.
Find a bowl, vase, or piggy bank to catch your quarters when you knock yourself, and watch your self-awareness soar and your habits change. We can all change our language---and our minds.
Maybe I should give this a try since I am trying to save up for a wedding gown anyways. I bet I'll have lots of change at the end of the week. Maybe I'll start it tomorrow and post how much (or how little) money I have in the jar in a week...
In my mind I think it'll be a lot of money. But I think I have gained a great deal of self-awareness over the past few years about my inner critic. I have been able to notice my negative thoughts and stop them, but I haven't been able to master the technique of not just stopping them, but countering them with a positive thought. That'll be next..
Give it a try.
Find a bowl, vase, or piggy bank to catch your quarters when you knock yourself, and watch your self-awareness soar and your habits change. We can all change our language---and our minds.
Maybe I should give this a try since I am trying to save up for a wedding gown anyways. I bet I'll have lots of change at the end of the week. Maybe I'll start it tomorrow and post how much (or how little) money I have in the jar in a week...
In my mind I think it'll be a lot of money. But I think I have gained a great deal of self-awareness over the past few years about my inner critic. I have been able to notice my negative thoughts and stop them, but I haven't been able to master the technique of not just stopping them, but countering them with a positive thought. That'll be next..
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Day 7
As expected, I did not blog every day as I had hoped.. but that's life. It's imperfect. And that's what's so great about it. Imperfect and unexpected.
Give your inner critic a name. And when she/he pipes up today, put her/him in their place.
"Agnes, I am not listening to you."
"Sylvia, you are so negative."
And then spin her/his criticism on its head.
"Agnes, it doesn't matter if I am skinny in your eyes. It matters whether or not I am healthy in mine."
"Sylvia, my hair looks perfectly fine."
Calling out your inner critic and changing her direction is a vital step in moving from negative self-image to positive.
I am used to calling this inner critic "Ed" (and some of you may know where this comes from). Therefore for today:
"Ed, shut the fuck up. I still have impeccable style even though I'm wearing Uggs to work."
"Ed, it doesn't matter if I have split ends. I'm still beautiful."
"I can eat dark chocolate and nutella today, Ed, because I'm still healthy and eating it in moderation."
That's all for today. Ed hasn't been overly annoying today. Some days he is much louder and more critical than other days.
What would you name your inner critic and what would you say to him/her???
Give your inner critic a name. And when she/he pipes up today, put her/him in their place.
"Agnes, I am not listening to you."
"Sylvia, you are so negative."
And then spin her/his criticism on its head.
"Agnes, it doesn't matter if I am skinny in your eyes. It matters whether or not I am healthy in mine."
"Sylvia, my hair looks perfectly fine."
Calling out your inner critic and changing her direction is a vital step in moving from negative self-image to positive.
I am used to calling this inner critic "Ed" (and some of you may know where this comes from). Therefore for today:
"Ed, shut the fuck up. I still have impeccable style even though I'm wearing Uggs to work."
"Ed, it doesn't matter if I have split ends. I'm still beautiful."
"I can eat dark chocolate and nutella today, Ed, because I'm still healthy and eating it in moderation."
That's all for today. Ed hasn't been overly annoying today. Some days he is much louder and more critical than other days.
What would you name your inner critic and what would you say to him/her???
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Day 6
A study published in the June 2007 issue of Body Image: An International Journal of Research revealed that if a woman criticizes herself, those around her tend to add their own negative self-impressions to the conversation-even if they had just described their body image as "positive" or "high."
When a woman criticizes herself in front of you, don't join in. Instead celebrate what you love about her or tell her just how wrong she is. When you are inclined to begin your own body-bashing, stop yourself. We do ourselves and others a disservice when we allow these critiques to carry on.
When a woman criticizes herself in front of you, don't join in. Instead celebrate what you love about her or tell her just how wrong she is. When you are inclined to begin your own body-bashing, stop yourself. We do ourselves and others a disservice when we allow these critiques to carry on.
-"beautiful you: a daily guide to Radical Self-Acceptance" by rosie molinary
Monday, January 9, 2012
Day 5
I wish for myself to live a life full of happiness. I would like to have a good relationship with my fiance (and soon, a good marriage), raise healthy children, and have a fulfilling career. I also wish to live a healthy life with a healthy, strong body, mind, and soul. I feel this is much different from where I am today because I do not feel I am living a life with a healthy strong body or mind. I feel like I am still waiting for myself to make these changes, but it isn't happening just yet. I am not there. I am also a perfectionist, so it is possible that I have overly idealistic and high expectations for what a strong body and mind are. I feel like as soon as I establish myself in a stable job or career once I graduate and obtain my masters degree, I will feel more confident. (I hope!) I also feel that if I am able to engage in some kind of physical activity (whether it be going to a gym, boxing, or yoga), I will feel more confident. I grew up being very active in many sports, etc., and since I am so busy with school, interning, and working, I haven't really had the time to engage in activities I enjoy. I need to find an activity or hobby I really enjoy and that I am passionate about. I think after that I will feel more confident about myself and my life.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Day 4
Body image has greatly affected my daily life and outlook for many years now. I remember in high school that I felt like I couldn't hang out with certain people, go to parties, or do certain things because of my poor body image. In college, I felt like I couldn't be on the dance team or audition to be in a play until I lost a certain amount of weight. Even after college body image greatly affected my daily life. Every day I was consciously thinking or worrying about my body and my weight. It has taken up a great deal of energy and time in my life. Whether I was cooking meals, weighing myself, going to the gym, self-loathing to others, picking myself apart in front of a mirror, trying on multiple outfits in the morning, etc., it was time not spent on other things. It was time spent not being content with life. My challenges with body image over time have been many. I have struggled with accepting my body as it is since I was very young. My triumphs with body image have been much less, but more recent. I have been much less preoccupied with my weight and body than ever before in my life. For those of you who know me, you may disagree with that. People often still hear me self-loathing or calling myself fat, but I am much closer towards acceptance than I have ever been. I will be honest... I still want to lose weight and get in better shape, but I have found that I am more likely to go out and do things and not put my life on hold until I'm a certain weight. In terms of what I have denied myself due to preoccupation with my appearance, well, let's just say I have denied myself many things. It is quite devastating how many things I have missed out on because of this. But most of all, I have denied myself happiness. I have only allowed myself happiness in the past when I was thinner and more fit. It is quite sad. My personality has changed slightly since I started my journey towards acceptance. I feel I am much less angry. I have so much anger, and I don't really even know who it is directed towards. It often gets directed towards loved ones or strangers or whomever. But most of all, it is directed towards myself. I have lost time doing things that could have been worthwhile because of body image. I would like to say that I don't have any regrets, because I feel like regrets aren't worth having. But I probably regret not having allowed myself to do more things. But, I can honestly say that without all of those experiences, or lack thereof, I wouldn't be where I am today.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Day 3
How do I feel about myself? Well, I feel like this is a complicated question to answer as there are many different ways I feel about myself at different times in different situations. Oh, and depending on my mood. That's a big one. If I am in a negative mood, I often feel low about myself. I hate my body, my face, my hair, my nails, my skin, my personality...the list goes on. If I am in a positive mood, I am better able to see myself in a better light. I feel more secure in my skin. Unfortunately, my mood changes quite often. I'm not sure what came first, either. My low self-esteem or my mood issues. I'm also not quite sure where all of this came from. Of course we can blame our parents or family for whatever issues we deal with today, but that doesn't quite do it for me. Just saying "It's my mother's fault" doesn't make me suddenly better. A healthy sense of self and healthy life will give me many things. But most of all, it will give me the present. Without having a healthy sense of self, I am currently living either in the past or the future. "Life was better when...." "I can do this when I lose weight." Right now as things are in this moment, things are always better in the past or they will be in the future. I am never in the moment right now. I am never here. Always stuck in my head. Well, I'm ready to live in the present... so, let's go.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Day 2
The Body Warrior Pledge - Because I understand that my love and respect for my body are metaphors of my love and respect for my self and soul, I pledge:
- To stop berating my body and to begin celebrating the vessel that I have been given. I will remember the amazing things my body has given me: the ability to experience the world with a breadth of sense, the ability to perceive and express love, the ability to comfort and soothe, and the ability to fight, provide, and care for humanity.
- To understand that my body is an opportunity not a scapegoat.
- To be the primary source of my confidence. I will not rely on others to define my worth.
- To let envy dissipate and allow admiration to be a source of compassion by offering compliments to others.
- To gently but firmly stand up for myself when someone says something harmful.
- To change the inner monologue in my head to one that sees possibility not problems, potential not shortcomings, blessings not imperfections.
- To give my body the things that it needs to do its work well: plenty of water, amply movement, stretches, rest, and good nutrition, and to limit or eliminate the things that do not nurture my body.
- To see exercise as a way to improve my internal health and strength instead of a way to fight or control my body.
- To understand that my weight is not good or bad. It is just a number, and I am only good.
- To love my body and myself today. I do not have to weigh ten pounds less, have longer hair, or have my degree in my hand to have worth. I have worth just as I am, and I embrace that power.
- To recognize my body's strengths.
- To no longer put off the things that I wish to experience because I am waiting to do them in a different body.
- To understand that a body, just like a personality, is like a fingerprint: a wonderful embodiment of my uniqueness.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Day 1
My hopes, both personally and for the world, with regard to body image and beauty perception are difficult to define. For me, I wish that I could accept my body how it is right this second.. but I am afraid that is not possible. I am willing to try. For the world, my hopes for body image and beauty perception are that every body is beautiful and unique. I hope that one day society does not have to judge women by their appearance and by what size jeans we wear or what a number on the scale says. I hope that one day the world can not impose impossible beauty ideals on women. I hope one day we can all look at one another and accept our differences and find beauty in everyone. I am not sure how I can begin to live my hope today. I feel as though these hopes are just that... hopes. They are not realistic and they are never going to happen for myself or for the world. Maybe, just for today, every woman I see I will make a mental note of one beautiful thing about her. I will attempt to do this for myself today, as well. I would also like to compliment a woman on something. I feel as though in today's society women are so competitive and cold with one another. What're we fighting for? Do we even know? I'm not quite sure, but I do know I feel it. What I want most for myself and for the world is for us to stop trying to change ourselves and just be. And smile about it.
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